I agree with Laura, the background you chose is perfect for your blog! I read your introduction previously so I know how much you love weather, I really enjoy how cool storms and lightning can be too. Are you wanting to be a weather person once you finish your degree? I have always thought it would be so cool to have that job!
I love how you have combined your love of weather in not only your blog background but also your storybook background/idea. It sounds like it is going to be really interesting mixing two far out ideas of time travel and ancient Gods. I love how your introduction sets up everywhere you plan to visit for your storybook. When the storybook is complete that will be nice for the reader to have that initial set up and know what to generally expect. For when you add more stories, I saw on another storybook the girl put a link to the next story at the bottom of each sections so you could just click there instead of scrolling up and choosing the next story. I just thought that was a nice touch and figured I would share it with you! Overall really great and I am excited to see how it turns out!
Andrea, The creativity in this class has not yet ceased at amaze me. I find myself constantly saying "I would have never thought of that!". I can safely say it again when reading your introduction. The use of time machine alone is already interesting enough, but using it to go back and interview all the mythical weather gods? That's taking it to the next level. I love your use of lightening and the picture you chose for your storybook introduction. I will be staying updated on this one! The name along is what drew me in; this was my one freebie choice.
Andrea, I chose to read your introduction this week because I loved your stories that I read last week! Right off the bat I absolutely love that you worked your passion into the project. Weather Gods, how perfect for you! I also really like that you already laid out which stories you are going to write about, it is making me really anticipate finally getting to read them! I am particularly excited to read about Thor and Indra because I have heard of both of them before. I cannot wait to see your take on their stories. Especially looking at them from a modern view since your character is time traveling to meet them. I like the idea of a time traveler that is not an experienced time traveler but just likes what it means for their area of expertise. I really look forward to reading your stories this semester. I have a feeling I will be revisiting your page many a time!
Hey Andrea! I love your intro and am looking forward to reading your story. I think everyone like you said, has thought at some point "what if i could go back in time?" Whether that is to change something, a mistake you made, to go back and redo somebody or just to go back and visit with a friend or family member. I have thought about it all the time, and it gets mentioned in the discussion of "if you could have any superpower, what would it be?" going back in time is one that is always mentioned among many. I like the ending of your intro, I think its a cliff hanger in a way and leaves the reader hanging and wondering whats going to happen. I also cannot imagine being in a time where we know nothing about, without any of the technology we have the day. We rely so much on our technology these days, we would all be lost! Haha
Your introduction was really good! I love that you use a time machine to go back to visit the weather gods and talk to them. I really never would have thought of it! I like that you also mention the fear of being stuck in the past since the technology is obviously way more advanced than anything they had back then. I feel like people never think that they could just be stuck in another time! It would actually be really scary to just kind of be stuck in the past with no real way to communicate with anyone, including the person who made the time machine. I'm kind of curious as to why you chose the gods that you did. What made them stand out to you among the other gods, since you said that you had to narrow down your list? It would be interesting to know! Your introduction was really good overall though! I look forward to reading through the rest of your storybook!
Hi Andrea! I decided to read your introduction for your storybook as my free option because I love weather, so the title caught my eye! I was not let down! Your introduction was super interesting and I can't wait to see where your storybook goes. I love the idea of you traveling back in time to talk to different weather gods! That would be amazing to experience that and I know we have all thought about time travel once or twice before. If you wanted to extend your introduction a little bit you could give a little more background on each god, and what exactly each one did. I know you don't want to get into too much detail, but maybe just a little something to hold the readers over would be something to consider! You could also explain why you chose those four gods in particular. Overall, I loved reading your introduction and I can't wait to read more!
Ohh, I like that you are going to explore many different cultures in your stories. It will be very interesting to see what the differences between the gods in different cultures are. Sounds exciting! Time travel is a very clever way to do this, and not one I would have thought of. One thing I like about this is that the story treats the gods as if they actually exsist, but only in the time period where people believe. Of the gods you listed, I am only familiar with Thor, the Norse God. I almost expected Zeus to be in your list as well, but I think it was a good choice not to chose him because then everybody will get to learn about the gods that aren't as known. Having the time machine limit jumps is a cool idea as well, and it works well to limit your story. As a reader I know exactly what your story will contain, since you do a good job of outlining this. I am interested to see what is next.
I really like the images you used for your story but I don’t really like your font for your introduction. While I like the font type, with the color combination is kind of messing with my eyes. Maybe change the spacing a little bit? I don’t know, it’s a little difficult to read especially in the introduction. The font is a little in the first story is a little better. The increase in size helps. I really liked your stories though and I look forward to the rest of your stories, especially on Thor. Does Tawhirimatea have three parents? What is the light that Tawhirimatea’s brothers wanted? Is it literally light or more? I would like more elaboration on why his brother’s wanted to separate his parents. Question about the introduction, what if the time machine breaks while she’s using it? It would be an interesting twist on one of your stories. I do really like that you had a detailed list of who you were going to visit though.
Hey Andrea! So basically like everyone else has mentioned... I love the lightening background!!! It couldn't be more perfect for what you are talking about in your Storybook. The font and color of the writing was also eye catching and made me want to read more of your introduction. Your topic for the Storybook is really interesting as well. It forms a very clear picture of what you are going to be talking about in your later stories. It makes me want to come back and read all of them.
The idea that you are traveling back in time to meet with each of these gods is such a nifty idea! It gave your Storybook a completely different feel to it by combing the past and present. I can't wait to read of the four stories about the gods and the different types of weather they control. I think this was a great idea!
Hey Andrea! Your first story about Tāwhirimātea was very interesting! I love that you started out with talking about the landscape of New Zealand. It was so descriptive and I actually imagined the lushness and green scenery! It was also great that you added in that they might not have understood your language, I never would have thought of that! Your conversation with the god was very interesting, and I really liked that you added in how the weather outside changed as you were talking from him. The only thing that I would maybe suggest is that you added in a lesson that the god told you possibly? It could be a cool way to reflect back on what you learned from the god! I really liked the ending about how the natives got upset because the god was upset, so you had to leave really quickly. Your descriptions are so good! I could imagine myself in the story, experiencing all of the things that you wrote! Great job!
Hey Andrea! Last week I read your introduction for my free option and I decided to come back and read your first story for my free option this week! I loved your story! The picture you added in the beginning was perfect for the story and really gave me an actual vision of what I would be seeing if I was there. This was particularly helpful considering I'm a very visual person! One suggestion I have is to maybe include where his brothers are today and the relationship between the family members. Are they still fighting? Has any one sibling defeated another? Maybe they have since made a treaty to not go after each other? Just a couple of suggestions. Someone also mentioned previously that they didn't like the font. The font is an interesting one, but I think you might want to choose something that is a little easier on the eyes! Wouldn't want someone to stop reading your great stories just because they didn't like the font! Overall I really enjoyed your story and I can't wait to read more! I love anything weather related, especially storms! Keep up the good work!
I have already visited your actual blog site a couple of times and so I knew immediately that your story would be about weather... I wasn't wrong! I like the look and layout of your storybook, all of the elements seem really well thought out to fit with the weather theme. Wow do I love the introduction you wrote, I think it's so neat that it's like a time traveler's log. Then I moved on to your first story, which I really enjoyed. I thought it was a little short, and that the incidences where Tawhirimatea struck out against his brothers could each be expanded to include more details. As it is right now it gets the point across, but it's very cut and dry. Like a few others before, I am also unsure about the font. I like the idea of it and it's not terribly hard to read, but also it's not as easy on the eyes as some are. That will be a difficult decision to make because I also feel like the font is a scripty one like you would find in a written journal which is what your storybook is. I look forward to visiting your site again and seeing exactly how Tawhirimatea punishes his other brothers.
Hi Andrea! Wow, your stories just never disappoint. I was really excited to get to read the first story in your storybook today, and it was worthy of getting excited about! I like that you took the creation myth and made it feel oh so real. The fact that your time traveler started a storm because they upset the weather god was a funny but realistic touch (if you consider a weather god realistic)! I think my favorite part was the traveler's realization that no one he ran into would know English. It adds in some humor and really makes the story come to life. One suggestion I have is to maybe lengthen Papa's name to Papat or something like that because I got confused at first thinking there were two fathers in the story. Other than that I really enjoyed reading about the Maori weather god and look forward to reading more weather stories in the future.
Hi Andrea! I chose your project as my free choice for this week because your stories seemed very interesting! I have always found it interesting to read stories about the gods and their adventures because of the different cultures that are involved. I think your telling of this story was very creative, especially with the time machine part. It was funny that they would not think of the native's speaking a different language, and then eventually getting yelled at in that language! I also thought it was creative to have someone bringing up old memories that would upset the god, and agreed with you that he would not let go of a grudge that big. The pictures you used helped me to imagine what setting the story took place, especially the statue one. The New Zealand picture was beautiful, and helps your readers to place what the country actually looks like.
My favorite part of your first story is how you took Tawhirimatea's anger and made it into a storm. I also really like how the statue talked and told the story. Creation stories are also some of my favorites to read. I always find it very fascinating how there are so many different creation stories. All of them very different and unique. I am also doing a cartoon based story in my storybook. I think you choose a cool font. It adds to your storybook theme. It is also fun and still easy to read. The pictures you choose also add nicely to the story. It helps the readers mind stay on track. At least for me it also helped place an image in my head while reading the story. I wonder is any of the other weather gods get angry with Tawhirimatea when he gets upset and creates storms?
I think you picked a great song that is appropriate with your blog, it helps with the overall theme. The thing about here this song is that it is always going to be sins synonymous with the Oklahoma City Thunder, it is basically their theme song. It is such a classic AC/DC song, and will live on forever.
I loved that I got to read the first story in your storybook. It was very well written and kept my attention. As I said before, I love your weather theme. I think that is a great one. I also like how you kept it true to the original story. The touch of the townspeople running you off was also great. If you wanted to expand on that I think it would make the story even better. It would help pull together the overall concept you are going for!
I loved that you picked this song for your blog! It definitely fits with it and is a perfect touch. Who can not have enough of AC/DC? They will truly live on forever and will continue to be remembered just from your blog. I think I'm definitely going to think of your blog now when I hear this song.
Hi Andrea! I just finished reading the second story in your storybook! I liked it just as much as I liked your first one! It was a great fit, and I think it was a good choice that you had a little happier of a story after your last one that didn’t end up so great for the narrator. I had never heard of the god Indra, so your author’s note was really helpful to hear who he was, and where this story came from. I think it would be really cool to find out why Indra appeared to her out of nowhere because it was as if he knew she was looking for him. It was never really explained how he just appeared so that was a little bit confusing. I wasn’t sure if he was known for that or if it was just aprt of the story. Overall this was a great story! I can’t wait to see where you will take your next story, and which god will be used.
Thank you for sharing this! You first story was easy to follow and well written. The story is electrifying! I loved how you turned Tawhirimateas anger and made it into the storm. You have described everything so well. The idea of letting the statue tell the story was brilliant! I was able to picture it in my head. The story was captivating and went smooth. I did not get distracted.
The way you started by describing the landscape of New Zealand was very attention grabbing. It was very descriptive and being a person who likes to travel a lot I could not help but imagine everything you described and it was amazing. The only suggestion I would say is it would have been better if you ended with a little more detailed lesson.
Overall, a great read. I did not loose focus or get distracted throughout. I loved how you presented the story and liked the layout. The idea of having the weather background in your storybook and blog is great. I cannot wait to read more. I enjoyed reading this and it was different than the original story.
Hi Andrea, I am reading your storybook for some extra credit even though I am in the Indian Epics class. I just wanted to start with your title. It drew me in because I had no idea what to expect. It made me a bit excited because I felt like it would be awesome but I had no idea what the content would be. First, your stories are so well written and very easy to get lost in. I like how you get really descriptive in your stories. I was able to picture everything in my mind without a problem. Your creativity is through the roof and I admire that. Sometimes I feel a bit gutted when I have to think of a story to write. Overall, I liked Indra's story the best, but I think that may be because it seems a bit happier than the first one. I do want to reassure you that both were goods reads, though. You're doing an awesome job with your story book and I will be sure to keep checking it out. Keep up the good work and thank you for providing great stories to read!
Since I have read your introduction before, I chose to focus my comments on your most recent story, Indra. I like how you started this story by referencing Tawhirimatea. It's a nice way to comment your previous story with your current story. It's also really cool that the narrator has to first look for the god Indra instead of instantly knowing where to find him or having an audience with him. You do a good job of using dialogue in your story. I haven't really be using any in mine since it can sometimes be difficult to write. Overall I think your story works well. You clearly did your research on Indra. I like that the story that Indra tells is completely based on mythology, but that the story you wove around it is completely your own. It was creative and fun to read. Good job with the story.
Hey girl! I love that I get to keep up with your storybook. The stories get better each time! This last story has some really great wording and imagery when you were setting up the scene. It really pulled me in. I also like how you went with a more dialouge set up with two happy characters. It is a nice change from the first story. We wouldnt want the time traveler to have all bad experiences! I also like how you kept the God modest and he told the traveler about discrepancies between the tales and the real story such as the 99 versus 9 part. Overall I think this was my favorite story so far. I really liked to interaction and all the descriptions. I also feel like a lot of thought was put in to the setting like have it be monsoon season and whatnot. It shows you really put time into making this story great all the way down to the bones of it!
Hey Andrea! First off I think that you have done a great job tying together the theme of your blog and your Storybook. The weather images, songs, and stories are such a great way to keep readers engaged! I am really glad that I chose to read your Storybook because I have never heard of the stories you are telling in it. I think that it is super cool that you are able to write about something you are so passionate about! The first story was really cool, although a little sad. I think that the language barrier was a great touch to keep it realistic too. The second story, as a few others have mentioned, was nice because of the dialogue you added! I think that the images that you chose for your Storybook were also really well done because they help tie in the different elements of the story to your readers! Great job and can’t wait to read more!
Andrea, I am back again and still very pleasantly surprised with your creativity here! Your first story was very good. Not only was it very easy to follow and read, but also so interesting! Meeting a god of weather and feeling his voice vibrate throughout your soul; I liked how you used that description, it really grabbed my attention. The way you have set up your story book literally opens you up to a limitless amount of stories you could possibly adapt. Every culture has some sort of gods incorporated. Anyways, I am very enjoyed with how well your storybook is going so far and cannot wait to come back here again and check where your creativity takes us next!
When first reading your story Indra, I couldn't help but think of the show the 100. You did a great job with the detail of describing the arrival near the base of the Himalayas. It made it really east to place a picture in my head. The picture you have in your story goes fantastic! I wonder if you found the picture first then wrote the detail to match? I have done that before. Makes for a great addition though! I did not know that the god of rain and god of war were the same? Is that in all legends I wonder. I was also wondering what soma is? when I first read it. I wonder if it is still used in India today? I think the choice of choosing a traveler to go from place to place is a great way to tell each story. Great work on your storybook so far.
Hey Andrea! I remember reading your myth-folklore blog introduction a while back and you had mentioned you love weather, so I think it’s awesome you incorporated it into your storybook! It sure does make it easier to write stories about topics we are passionate about in some way. I love the idea of using a time machine to go back in time to speak with the weather gods of the past. I have definitely wanted the ability to go back in time! I am not at all familiar with the gods you mentioned visiting in your introduction, so it will be neat to learn about them in your stories. I love the images you included throughout your storybook site. They make for great visuals that go well with the stories! Your stories are all very well-developed and I look forward to seeing the rest as you finish up your storybook site in the next couple of weeks!
Your storybook is great! I love the way you set everything up it was so creative! When i was first reading your introduction i was like "Where is she going with this?" then I was astonished how creative it was! A time machine is perfect for this project! Also a whole story around weather gods is super creative too! There are so many and with all the cultures we've been reading about Im sure it was actually something that was super interesting! Learning about all these different cultures and religions is cool and its awesome you involved so many in your story book! Good job! Keep it up!
Hey Andrea, I picked your storybook to come ready this week because i love the weather and it is so intriguing to me. Your storybook is extremely creative. One of my favorite parts of writing is imagery and I think its one of the best things to use in writing. I think imagery creates a picture for the reader and I think you did a great job throughout your story in describing everything. I really like the time machine idea, this will definitely give your story even more zing. I have never really known much about the weather gods but the way you tell your story and use images and videos and all that makes it a lot easier to understand. I think you have a lot more to tell because you have such a creative way of writing and i am sure you can come up with even more interesting stuff to write. Great job!
Andrea, I really enjoyed your second story! I've previously read your introduction and your first story and decided to come back and read your next story. Like I've said before, the weather really interests me so your title caught my eye. I don't know much about weather gods of different cultures, but it's very interesting hearing of all the different gods and their stories. I love the fact that you are visiting different countries and showing a different culture in each story. It's very interesting to see how each culture's gods vary. You capture the culture in your writing and make it very easy for the reader to visualize the setting. I love all of the pictures you include as well. The pictures also help the reader visualize the god and the culture. Overall good job, and I can't wait to read your next story! Keep up the good work!
Hey Andrea! I’m back again for some more project feedback! I still think it’s such an awesome idea that you incorporated your love for weather into your storybook. I can tell you are passionate about it through your writing! I also think the time machine idea is so neat and fun to imagine. I read your newest story addition about Mount Tlaloc, which you mentioned was the most difficult leg of your journey. I loved the diction you used to describe the scene once you stepped out of the time machine at this new location! I also liked the great detail you used to describe the clothing and appearances of the men, women, and children atop the mountain at the parade. I was sad to read about the children at the end! It was really interesting to me that you were hesitant to interfere in the situation in fear of messing with the “timeline.” That’s crazy to think about – what would happen if you went back in time and altered some miniscule event that consequently altered life’s whole timeline.
Back again with more project feedback! Your storybook looks so good! I like how when you are transported to a place its not right where you are supposed to be, and you have a travel a bit to find what you are looking for! I also like how I'm the story in India the weather god there kept calling you pale, because I'm sure its not something he sees all time and you were clever enough to add that! Your imagery whenever you arrive at a place is also very descriptive and well written, its like I'm there with you! Good Job!
Your blog is electrified! Lightning — what a great choice! :-)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Laura, the background you chose is perfect for your blog! I read your introduction previously so I know how much you love weather, I really enjoy how cool storms and lightning can be too. Are you wanting to be a weather person once you finish your degree? I have always thought it would be so cool to have that job!
ReplyDeleteI love how you have combined your love of weather in not only your blog background but also your storybook background/idea. It sounds like it is going to be really interesting mixing two far out ideas of time travel and ancient Gods. I love how your introduction sets up everywhere you plan to visit for your storybook. When the storybook is complete that will be nice for the reader to have that initial set up and know what to generally expect. For when you add more stories, I saw on another storybook the girl put a link to the next story at the bottom of each sections so you could just click there instead of scrolling up and choosing the next story. I just thought that was a nice touch and figured I would share it with you! Overall really great and I am excited to see how it turns out!
ReplyDeleteAndrea,
ReplyDeleteThe creativity in this class has not yet ceased at amaze me. I find myself constantly saying "I would have never thought of that!". I can safely say it again when reading your introduction. The use of time machine alone is already interesting enough, but using it to go back and interview all the mythical weather gods? That's taking it to the next level. I love your use of lightening and the picture you chose for your storybook introduction. I will be staying updated on this one! The name along is what drew me in; this was my one freebie choice.
Andrea, I chose to read your introduction this week because I loved your stories that I read last week! Right off the bat I absolutely love that you worked your passion into the project. Weather Gods, how perfect for you! I also really like that you already laid out which stories you are going to write about, it is making me really anticipate finally getting to read them! I am particularly excited to read about Thor and Indra because I have heard of both of them before. I cannot wait to see your take on their stories. Especially looking at them from a modern view since your character is time traveling to meet them.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of a time traveler that is not an experienced time traveler but just likes what it means for their area of expertise. I really look forward to reading your stories this semester. I have a feeling I will be revisiting your page many a time!
Hey Andrea! I love your intro and am looking forward to reading your story. I think everyone like you said, has thought at some point "what if i could go back in time?" Whether that is to change something, a mistake you made, to go back and redo somebody or just to go back and visit with a friend or family member. I have thought about it all the time, and it gets mentioned in the discussion of "if you could have any superpower, what would it be?" going back in time is one that is always mentioned among many. I like the ending of your intro, I think its a cliff hanger in a way and leaves the reader hanging and wondering whats going to happen. I also cannot imagine being in a time where we know nothing about, without any of the technology we have the day. We rely so much on our technology these days, we would all be lost! Haha
ReplyDeleteYour introduction was really good! I love that you use a time machine to go back to visit the weather gods and talk to them. I really never would have thought of it! I like that you also mention the fear of being stuck in the past since the technology is obviously way more advanced than anything they had back then. I feel like people never think that they could just be stuck in another time! It would actually be really scary to just kind of be stuck in the past with no real way to communicate with anyone, including the person who made the time machine. I'm kind of curious as to why you chose the gods that you did. What made them stand out to you among the other gods, since you said that you had to narrow down your list? It would be interesting to know! Your introduction was really good overall though! I look forward to reading through the rest of your storybook!
ReplyDeleteHi Andrea! I decided to read your introduction for your storybook as my free option because I love weather, so the title caught my eye! I was not let down! Your introduction was super interesting and I can't wait to see where your storybook goes. I love the idea of you traveling back in time to talk to different weather gods! That would be amazing to experience that and I know we have all thought about time travel once or twice before. If you wanted to extend your introduction a little bit you could give a little more background on each god, and what exactly each one did. I know you don't want to get into too much detail, but maybe just a little something to hold the readers over would be something to consider! You could also explain why you chose those four gods in particular. Overall, I loved reading your introduction and I can't wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteOhh, I like that you are going to explore many different cultures in your stories. It will be very interesting to see what the differences between the gods in different cultures are. Sounds exciting! Time travel is a very clever way to do this, and not one I would have thought of. One thing I like about this is that the story treats the gods as if they actually exsist, but only in the time period where people believe. Of the gods you listed, I am only familiar with Thor, the Norse God. I almost expected Zeus to be in your list as well, but I think it was a good choice not to chose him because then everybody will get to learn about the gods that aren't as known.
ReplyDeleteHaving the time machine limit jumps is a cool idea as well, and it works well to limit your story. As a reader I know exactly what your story will contain, since you do a good job of outlining this. I am interested to see what is next.
I really like the images you used for your story but I don’t really like your font for your introduction. While I like the font type, with the color combination is kind of messing with my eyes. Maybe change the spacing a little bit? I don’t know, it’s a little difficult to read especially in the introduction. The font is a little in the first story is a little better. The increase in size helps. I really liked your stories though and I look forward to the rest of your stories, especially on Thor.
ReplyDeleteDoes Tawhirimatea have three parents? What is the light that Tawhirimatea’s brothers wanted? Is it literally light or more? I would like more elaboration on why his brother’s wanted to separate his parents. Question about the introduction, what if the time machine breaks while she’s using it? It would be an interesting twist on one of your stories. I do really like that you had a detailed list of who you were going to visit though.
Hey Andrea!
ReplyDeleteSo basically like everyone else has mentioned... I love the lightening background!!! It couldn't be more perfect for what you are talking about in your Storybook. The font and color of the writing was also eye catching and made me want to read more of your introduction. Your topic for the Storybook is really interesting as well. It forms a very clear picture of what you are going to be talking about in your later stories. It makes me want to come back and read all of them.
The idea that you are traveling back in time to meet with each of these gods is such a nifty idea! It gave your Storybook a completely different feel to it by combing the past and present. I can't wait to read of the four stories about the gods and the different types of weather they control. I think this was a great idea!
Hey Andrea! Your first story about Tāwhirimātea was very interesting! I love that you started out with talking about the landscape of New Zealand. It was so descriptive and I actually imagined the lushness and green scenery! It was also great that you added in that they might not have understood your language, I never would have thought of that! Your conversation with the god was very interesting, and I really liked that you added in how the weather outside changed as you were talking from him. The only thing that I would maybe suggest is that you added in a lesson that the god told you possibly? It could be a cool way to reflect back on what you learned from the god!
ReplyDeleteI really liked the ending about how the natives got upset because the god was upset, so you had to leave really quickly. Your descriptions are so good! I could imagine myself in the story, experiencing all of the things that you wrote! Great job!
Hey Andrea! Last week I read your introduction for my free option and I decided to come back and read your first story for my free option this week! I loved your story! The picture you added in the beginning was perfect for the story and really gave me an actual vision of what I would be seeing if I was there. This was particularly helpful considering I'm a very visual person! One suggestion I have is to maybe include where his brothers are today and the relationship between the family members. Are they still fighting? Has any one sibling defeated another? Maybe they have since made a treaty to not go after each other? Just a couple of suggestions. Someone also mentioned previously that they didn't like the font. The font is an interesting one, but I think you might want to choose something that is a little easier on the eyes! Wouldn't want someone to stop reading your great stories just because they didn't like the font! Overall I really enjoyed your story and I can't wait to read more! I love anything weather related, especially storms! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteI have already visited your actual blog site a couple of times and so I knew immediately that your story would be about weather... I wasn't wrong! I like the look and layout of your storybook, all of the elements seem really well thought out to fit with the weather theme.
ReplyDeleteWow do I love the introduction you wrote, I think it's so neat that it's like a time traveler's log. Then I moved on to your first story, which I really enjoyed. I thought it was a little short, and that the incidences where Tawhirimatea struck out against his brothers could each be expanded to include more details. As it is right now it gets the point across, but it's very cut and dry. Like a few others before, I am also unsure about the font. I like the idea of it and it's not terribly hard to read, but also it's not as easy on the eyes as some are. That will be a difficult decision to make because I also feel like the font is a scripty one like you would find in a written journal which is what your storybook is. I look forward to visiting your site again and seeing exactly how Tawhirimatea punishes his other brothers.
Hi Andrea!
ReplyDeleteWow, your stories just never disappoint. I was really excited to get to read the first story in your storybook today, and it was worthy of getting excited about! I like that you took the creation myth and made it feel oh so real. The fact that your time traveler started a storm because they upset the weather god was a funny but realistic touch (if you consider a weather god realistic)! I think my favorite part was the traveler's realization that no one he ran into would know English. It adds in some humor and really makes the story come to life. One suggestion I have is to maybe lengthen Papa's name to Papat or something like that because I got confused at first thinking there were two fathers in the story. Other than that I really enjoyed reading about the Maori weather god and look forward to reading more weather stories in the future.
Hi Andrea! I chose your project as my free choice for this week because your stories seemed very interesting! I have always found it interesting to read stories about the gods and their adventures because of the different cultures that are involved. I think your telling of this story was very creative, especially with the time machine part. It was funny that they would not think of the native's speaking a different language, and then eventually getting yelled at in that language! I also thought it was creative to have someone bringing up old memories that would upset the god, and agreed with you that he would not let go of a grudge that big. The pictures you used helped me to imagine what setting the story took place, especially the statue one. The New Zealand picture was beautiful, and helps your readers to place what the country actually looks like.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part of your first story is how you took Tawhirimatea's anger and made it into a storm. I also really like how the statue talked and told the story. Creation stories are also some of my favorites to read. I always find it very fascinating how there are so many different creation stories. All of them very different and unique. I am also doing a cartoon based story in my storybook.
ReplyDeleteI think you choose a cool font. It adds to your storybook theme. It is also fun and still easy to read. The pictures you choose also add nicely to the story. It helps the readers mind stay on track. At least for me it also helped place an image in my head while reading the story.
I wonder is any of the other weather gods get angry with Tawhirimatea when he gets upset and creates storms?
I think you picked a great song that is appropriate with your blog, it helps with the overall theme. The thing about here this song is that it is always going to be sins synonymous with the Oklahoma City Thunder, it is basically their theme song. It is such a classic AC/DC song, and will live on forever.
ReplyDeleteI loved that I got to read the first story in your storybook. It was very well written and kept my attention. As I said before, I love your weather theme. I think that is a great one. I also like how you kept it true to the original story. The touch of the townspeople running you off was also great. If you wanted to expand on that I think it would make the story even better. It would help pull together the overall concept you are going for!
ReplyDeleteI loved that you picked this song for your blog! It definitely fits with it and is a perfect touch. Who can not have enough of AC/DC? They will truly live on forever and will continue to be remembered just from your blog. I think I'm definitely going to think of your blog now when I hear this song.
ReplyDeleteHi Andrea!
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading the second story in your storybook! I liked it just as much as I liked your first one! It was a great fit, and I think it was a good choice that you had a little happier of a story after your last one that didn’t end up so great for the narrator. I had never heard of the god Indra, so your author’s note was really helpful to hear who he was, and where this story came from. I think it would be really cool to find out why Indra appeared to her out of nowhere because it was as if he knew she was looking for him. It was never really explained how he just appeared so that was a little bit confusing. I wasn’t sure if he was known for that or if it was just aprt of the story. Overall this was a great story! I can’t wait to see where you will take your next story, and which god will be used.
Andrea,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this! You first story was easy to follow and well written. The story is electrifying! I loved how you turned Tawhirimateas anger and made it into the storm. You have described everything so well. The idea of letting the statue tell the story was brilliant! I was able to picture it in my head. The story was captivating and went smooth. I did not get distracted.
The way you started by describing the landscape of New Zealand was very attention grabbing. It was very descriptive and being a person who likes to travel a lot I could not help but imagine everything you described and it was amazing. The only suggestion I would say is it would have been better if you ended with a little more detailed lesson.
Overall, a great read. I did not loose focus or get distracted throughout. I loved how you presented the story and liked the layout. The idea of having the weather background in your storybook and blog is great. I cannot wait to read more. I enjoyed reading this and it was different than the original story.
Hi Andrea, I am reading your storybook for some extra credit even though I am in the Indian Epics class. I just wanted to start with your title. It drew me in because I had no idea what to expect. It made me a bit excited because I felt like it would be awesome but I had no idea what the content would be. First, your stories are so well written and very easy to get lost in. I like how you get really descriptive in your stories. I was able to picture everything in my mind without a problem. Your creativity is through the roof and I admire that. Sometimes I feel a bit gutted when I have to think of a story to write. Overall, I liked Indra's story the best, but I think that may be because it seems a bit happier than the first one. I do want to reassure you that both were goods reads, though. You're doing an awesome job with your story book and I will be sure to keep checking it out. Keep up the good work and thank you for providing great stories to read!
ReplyDeleteSince I have read your introduction before, I chose to focus my comments on your most recent story, Indra.
ReplyDeleteI like how you started this story by referencing Tawhirimatea. It's a nice way to comment your previous story with your current story. It's also really cool that the narrator has to first look for the god Indra instead of instantly knowing where to find him or having an audience with him. You do a good job of using dialogue in your story. I haven't really be using any in mine since it can sometimes be difficult to write.
Overall I think your story works well. You clearly did your research on Indra. I like that the story that Indra tells is completely based on mythology, but that the story you wove around it is completely your own. It was creative and fun to read. Good job with the story.
Hey girl! I love that I get to keep up with your storybook. The stories get better each time! This last story has some really great wording and imagery when you were setting up the scene. It really pulled me in. I also like how you went with a more dialouge set up with two happy characters. It is a nice change from the first story. We wouldnt want the time traveler to have all bad experiences! I also like how you kept the God modest and he told the traveler about discrepancies between the tales and the real story such as the 99 versus 9 part. Overall I think this was my favorite story so far. I really liked to interaction and all the descriptions. I also feel like a lot of thought was put in to the setting like have it be monsoon season and whatnot. It shows you really put time into making this story great all the way down to the bones of it!
ReplyDeleteHey Andrea! First off I think that you have done a great job tying together the theme of your blog and your Storybook. The weather images, songs, and stories are such a great way to keep readers engaged! I am really glad that I chose to read your Storybook because I have never heard of the stories you are telling in it. I think that it is super cool that you are able to write about something you are so passionate about! The first story was really cool, although a little sad. I think that the language barrier was a great touch to keep it realistic too. The second story, as a few others have mentioned, was nice because of the dialogue you added! I think that the images that you chose for your Storybook were also really well done because they help tie in the different elements of the story to your readers! Great job and can’t wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteAndrea,
ReplyDeleteI am back again and still very pleasantly surprised with your creativity here! Your first story was very good. Not only was it very easy to follow and read, but also so interesting! Meeting a god of weather and feeling his voice vibrate throughout your soul; I liked how you used that description, it really grabbed my attention. The way you have set up your story book literally opens you up to a limitless amount of stories you could possibly adapt. Every culture has some sort of gods incorporated. Anyways, I am very enjoyed with how well your storybook is going so far and cannot wait to come back here again and check where your creativity takes us next!
Alex
When first reading your story Indra, I couldn't help but think of the show the 100. You did a great job with the detail of describing the arrival near the base of the Himalayas. It made it really east to place a picture in my head. The picture you have in your story goes fantastic! I wonder if you found the picture first then wrote the detail to match? I have done that before. Makes for a great addition though! I did not know that the god of rain and god of war were the same? Is that in all legends I wonder. I was also wondering what soma is? when I first read it. I wonder if it is still used in India today? I think the choice of choosing a traveler to go from place to place is a great way to tell each story. Great work on your storybook so far.
ReplyDeleteHey Andrea! I remember reading your myth-folklore blog introduction a while back and you had mentioned you love weather, so I think it’s awesome you incorporated it into your storybook! It sure does make it easier to write stories about topics we are passionate about in some way.
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of using a time machine to go back in time to speak with the weather gods of the past. I have definitely wanted the ability to go back in time!
I am not at all familiar with the gods you mentioned visiting in your introduction, so it will be neat to learn about them in your stories.
I love the images you included throughout your storybook site. They make for great visuals that go well with the stories!
Your stories are all very well-developed and I look forward to seeing the rest as you finish up your storybook site in the next couple of weeks!
Your storybook is great! I love the way you set everything up it was so creative! When i was first reading your introduction i was like "Where is she going with this?" then I was astonished how creative it was! A time machine is perfect for this project! Also a whole story around weather gods is super creative too! There are so many and with all the cultures we've been reading about Im sure it was actually something that was super interesting! Learning about all these different cultures and religions is cool and its awesome you involved so many in your story book! Good job! Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteHey Andrea, I picked your storybook to come ready this week because i love the weather and it is so intriguing to me. Your storybook is extremely creative. One of my favorite parts of writing is imagery and I think its one of the best things to use in writing. I think imagery creates a picture for the reader and I think you did a great job throughout your story in describing everything. I really like the time machine idea, this will definitely give your story even more zing. I have never really known much about the weather gods but the way you tell your story and use images and videos and all that makes it a lot easier to understand. I think you have a lot more to tell because you have such a creative way of writing and i am sure you can come up with even more interesting stuff to write. Great job!
ReplyDeleteAndrea, I really enjoyed your second story! I've previously read your introduction and your first story and decided to come back and read your next story. Like I've said before, the weather really interests me so your title caught my eye. I don't know much about weather gods of different cultures, but it's very interesting hearing of all the different gods and their stories. I love the fact that you are visiting different countries and showing a different culture in each story. It's very interesting to see how each culture's gods vary. You capture the culture in your writing and make it very easy for the reader to visualize the setting. I love all of the pictures you include as well. The pictures also help the reader visualize the god and the culture. Overall good job, and I can't wait to read your next story! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey Andrea! I’m back again for some more project feedback!
ReplyDeleteI still think it’s such an awesome idea that you incorporated your love for weather into your storybook. I can tell you are passionate about it through your writing! I also think the time machine idea is so neat and fun to imagine.
I read your newest story addition about Mount Tlaloc, which you mentioned was the most difficult leg of your journey. I loved the diction you used to describe the scene once you stepped out of the time machine at this new location! I also liked the great detail you used to describe the clothing and appearances of the men, women, and children atop the mountain at the parade.
I was sad to read about the children at the end! It was really interesting to me that you were hesitant to interfere in the situation in fear of messing with the “timeline.” That’s crazy to think about – what would happen if you went back in time and altered some miniscule event that consequently altered life’s whole timeline.
Back again with more project feedback! Your storybook looks so good! I like how when you are transported to a place its not right where you are supposed to be, and you have a travel a bit to find what you are looking for! I also like how I'm the story in India the weather god there kept calling you pale, because I'm sure its not something he sees all time and you were clever enough to add that! Your imagery whenever you arrive at a place is also very descriptive and well written, its like I'm there with you! Good Job!
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